Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Kisah Ramly Burger



korang perasan tak, knp ramly burger kat mesia lebih sedap dari ramly burger spore??

ahhh...meh aku nak story sikit.

satu hari tuu aku singgah ke pasar mlm kat blakang umah aku. biasalah bro, kalo pegi pasar mlm, tak sah kalo tak beli kopok lekor ke atau beli burger...ekekeke

so hari tuu, tekak aku nie tetiba mengidam nak makan burger. aku singgah ler ke gerai ramly burger.

walopun que dia peh panjang nak mampos, aku tetap cekal kan hati utk terus beratur pasal takmo TERkempunan tak dpt makan burger.

demi berkat kesabaran aku yg tebal, akhirnya, sampai jugak ler turn aku utk order burger....

"burger daging 2, bang." aku kasi order aku kat si abg penjual burger. abg tu angguk2 kepala dia tanda paham.

sementara menunggu burger aku dimasak oleh sorang lagi pembantu gerai tu, aku pon bukak ler topic bobal dgn abg tadi. maklom lah, aku nie peramah org nyer....hehe

"liverpool bole angkat champion lah tahun nie!" aku sengeh2 kat abg tuu yg kebetulan memakai baju liverpool. so, aku suspect dia penyokong kuat liverpool mcm aku nie lerr...

abg tu tak bobal. dia tersengeh nampak gigi jer.

"abg support liverpool ke? saya mmg dah lama support liverpool. sejak zaman ian rush lagik!" aku ckp dgn bangga skali kat abg tuu...

tapikan, abg tuu mcm takde reaction. dia cuma tersengeh memanjang jer.

"kiter liverpool fan nie tak mcm man utd fan tuu. kiter akan tetap sokong liverpool walopon dah bertahun2 tak pernah jadi champion." aku sambung lagi.

"man utd fan tu sumer glory hunters! asik nak menang jer. biler kalah, start ler carut players sendiri. maki manager ler, sumpah referee ler, kutok2 team lainlah...mak dia peh selipar jepun lah..." aku pon dah start ler nak mencarut pasal kelab setan tuu...

abg tu tetap tak berkata ape2. dia tetap tersengih juga...

"eh bisu kepe abg nie??" aku tertanya dlm hati.

"abg sebenar nyer sokong arsenal, dik. tak sokong liverpool. baju liverpool nie pon org yg kasi. abg pakai buat time jual burger. kalo dah kotor kena minyak, bau burger, abg tak yah lah nak basuh. abg buang jer..." kata abg tu sambil tersengih2 lagi.

alamak! malu nyer aku! ingat liverpool supporter tadi. rupa nyer arsenal fan derrr...

"heheheh...arsenal fan pon ok jugak. asalkan jgn man utd fan sudah...hehehehe" aku jawab balik dgn muka mcm tapai basi pasal nak tutop malu.

dgn secepat kilat aku carik ilham utk tukar subject perbualan. aku tak bole bobal pasal bola lagi. nanti dia tak puas hati dgn aku, pastu dia bubuh racun kat dlm burger, aku makan terus je mati kang!

aku terus tukar topic, "ermm...lama lagi ke burger siap?" aku eksyen2 tanyer ler konon...

"jenis burger nie mmg lambat sikit, dik. daging burger nie jenis lain, tak mcm ramly burger, cepat masak." abg tu tetiba kasi tahu. terus aku menjadi TERkompius seketika!

huh?? gerai tergantung banner "Ramly Burger" sebesar2 tidak, tapi abg kata, nie sumer bukan ramly burger?? aper abg ckp nih...?


"abeh mana satu ramly burger, bang?" aku tanyer dgn penuh kemusykilan.

"mana ader lagi ramly burger kat spore nie, dik oii. gomen spore tak kasi import daging burger dari mesia lagi.

yg kiter jual sumer daging burger mass production dari local factory. bukan nyer original ramly burger lagi."

abg tu terangkan kat aku sambil tunjuk 1 kotak plastic besar yg takde label. dlm tu ader beratus2 daging burger mentah kat dlm.

"daging burger nie murah sikit. tapi lambat masak."

"yg kiter bole import skrg cuma kertas pembalut ramli burger jer. daging burger kiter beli kat supplier lain...hahahaha." abg tu ketawa.

ohhh...celaka betol! rupa nyer selama nie, org spore sumer dah kena tipu dgn si penjual2 burger pasar mlm nie sumer ler ye!!

padan lah, aku rasa 'ramly burger' spore tak sesedap mcm ramly burger yg aku beli kat mesia ek?

rupa2 nyer, ramly burger mesia tu ler yg original. rasa lebih enak, lebih lembut dan sedap!!

so semenjak hari tu, aku dah tak minat beli burger kat pasar mlm lagi. pasal skrg aku dah tahu, tu sumer 'ramly burger' tiruan!!


ps: yg ori tetap best! hapuskan lanun cetak rompak...

Together Hamburger (Project Pop)


Saturday, April 19, 2014

Zaman Phonecard!



biler tengok gambar nie, teringat plakk memori zaman kanak2 dulu...zaman phonecard!

dulu kalo nak tepon mak, kena carik public phone. zaman tu kiter takde handphone :P

but looking back at those days, we were less materialistic and lived a simple life.


we were much happier and things were more peaceful. regardless of race, language or religion, we respect each other. the government back then had done a great job!

but the government now is merepek already until i dunno how to describe...

if you wish to view more nostalgic photos of spore's yesteryears, click this link >> https://www.facebook.com/irememberSG/photos


Memori (Rockers)

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Blog aku bukan bahan lucah, ok!!



KNNCCB!!

statistic menunjukan bahawa, Top 10 'Search keywords' utk mencari blog eskrim 20sen, sumer berbaur lucah sak!!

Tengok bawah tu

pelucah2 sumer suka cari bahan kat sini...

eh pls lah korang! blog aku bukan tempat carik bahan lucah lah okeyy!!

blog aku nie adalah tempat utk menimba ilmu yg bermanfaat bagi setiap mahluk yg melungsuri nyer.

walopun ader juga sikit benda2 yg R-rated, tetapi ianya sengaja dipaparkan utk memberi kesedaran kpd org ramai....ader paham??

aku tak suruh pon korang menjadi terlebih lucah dari diri korang yg sedia ader.

Harap maklom.

ps: harap2 liverpool menjadi juara EPL tahun nie....amin. *berdoa*


You'll Never Walk Alone (Gerry & The Pacemakers)

Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Ultimate Warrior #RIP


The Ultimate Warrior
#RIP

Amati kata2 terakhir beliau....

The Ultimate Warrior spoke these on the 7th April 2014 at WWE WrestleMania 30.

"No WWE talent becomes a legend on their own. Every man’s heart one day beats its final beat. His lungs breathe their final breath. And if what that man did in his life what makes the blood pulse through the body of others and makes them bleed deeper and something larger than life then his essence, his spirit, will be immortalized. By the story tellers, by the loyalty, by the memory of those who honor him and make the running the man did live forever. You, you, you, you, you, you are the legend makers of Ultimate Warrior. In the back I see many potential legends. Some of them with warrior spirits. And you will do the same for them. You will decide if they lived with the passion and intensity. So much so that you will tell your stories and you will make them legends, as well. I am The Ultimate Warrior. You are the Ultimate Warrior fans and the spirit of Ultimate Warrior will run forever." - The Ultimate Warrior



...

A few days later, on the 9th April 2014, he collapsed and died.

Read more...
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/ultimate-warrior-dead-at-54-just-a-day-after-wwe-raw-and-wrestlemania-30-appearances-9247869.html

#RIPUltimateWarrior


ps: aku rasa dia tahu tanda2 dia dah nak mati. 

The Ultimate Warrior Theme

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Aiyahhh Cik Siti...!!!






it was meant to be a joke.

however, everything blew out of proportion when viewers gave harsh comments on youtube and other social media platforms.

i gave 2 thumbs up to siti for displaying such a brave act in public, portraying herself as a makcik, who caught her cheating husband with a younger woman.

I would hv thought that the act was real....until, i clearly heard that makcik's constant nagging voice. it was Melur! (Siti K)

yes, siti has a unique way of articulation. no other actresses can articulate consonants better than siti. after all, siti is a talented theatre performer.

i texted siti telling her how excited i was to see her play acting in public. however, siti replied she kena hentam left-right-centre from viewers!!  :(

"...i didn't expect it to get so out of hand. I sure do not want to do anymore of these! But thanks anyway :)" - Siti K.

Awwwww....kesian Melur. why you ppl so bad ass!

let's say if this was a drama on tv or a film, you think ppl's reaction will be the same? do you think the society will condemn the casts as easily??

didn't you see they were actually sending a message to what actually is happening around us??

didn't you ppl see the bigger social problems we are facing here as a community rather than focusing abt race and religion?


when P.Ramlee did a scene abt a wife who caught her husband with another woman, in Seniman Bujang Lapok, did everyone condemned P.Ramlee for being insensitive towards the race and religion?? think abt it...

where are your sense of humor and understanding what is being potrayed?

the problem is, you ppl are too engross with the internet and the social media. you tend to take things seriously and believe everything you see and read. you don't even know between what is real, what is fake.

sad.

you viewers are totally crap! you ppl just don't think out of the box!

nampak mcm racist jer, terus kutok mcm2! nie lah melayu, sikit2 jer nak melatah...


ps: some ppl think Eskrim20sen is real...in which, i am also fake.



Aiiyah Cik Siti (Apek & Marjina)





Friday, March 28, 2014

Raja Bomoh Sedunia strikes again!



Raja Bomoh Seru Mayat di laut Pulau Sembilan, Perak

syirik? kurafat?

biar apepon org condemn dia, si Tok Bomoh nie tetap tak patah semangat, bekerja keras berusaha mencari mangsa pesawat hilang dgn menggunakan kepakaran yg dia ader.

ape org nak ckp pasal dia, ckp lah. dia tetap menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang bomoh dgn ikhlas.

bukan mcm ade sesetengah org tu yg dok melepak depan computer, tak abes2 mengutok, menfitnah dan membuat spekulasi yg bukan2 tentang mangsa2 pesawat malang tu...itu lagi HARAM!

"O you who believe, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers."
~ Surah Al-Hujurat, 49:11

jgn lah kejahilan org kiter persendakan. sedarlah diri sikit, kiter pon kurang sempurna juga.


ps: kalo tak suka tok bomoh nie, jgn lah kiter nak setep bobal mcm ulamak kutuk2 dia. last2, kiter plak nanti yg dpt dosa...

Pesawatku (Memes)


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Penampor Buaya


Raja Bomoh VIP 
yg dikatakan telah menampar seekor buaya tembaga sehingga meninggal...

sebelom aku kena penampor buaya dgn Raja Bomoh VIP tu, aku rase lebih baik aku stop dari memikirkan ke mana  ghaib nyer pesawat MH370.

setakat mendengar ulasan berita terkini di tv, aku rasa diri aku nie dah cukop pandai utk menyumbang spekulasi dan ulasan tentang ape yg terjadi.

aku tersilap rupanyer. aku masih bodoh.

berita kat tv hanya propaganda. aper yg korang dgr dan baca kat sotkabar adalah drama semata-mata. mmg benar, fitnah dajjal akan berleluasa di akhir2 zaman ini.

sepanjang hari2 yg lalu, aku sibuk buat research kat internet. bukan ape, aku sekadar nak tahu ape yg mereka2 bualkan utk aku jadikan modal topik kedai kopi esok hari bersama rakan2...

hingga lah satu hari itu, aku diberi petunjuk dari salah sorang pakar ilmuan tentang perancangan dunia akhir zaman ini

aper yg telah beliau bongkar dan kongsi telah membuka mata dan minda aku.

penulisan beliau telah bnyk membuat aku terfikir jauh...jauh dari tahap pemikiran org2 biasa mcm korang2 nie sumer.

teori beliau hampir2 tepat tentang aper yg telah terjadi skrg.

aper yg mengkagumkan aku, apabila plot twist MH370 minggu lalu, telah dikhabarkan nyer beberapa hari sebelom diumumkan di Press Comference.

aku terkagum dgn ketepatan teori beliau.

walopun beliau tidak memberi jawapan yg direct, tapi segala rahsia dan clue telah ader disitu. dah mcm buku  Da Vinci Code plakkk...

banyak lagi teori2 dan rahsia2 dibongkarkan oleh beliau. ader kah beliau seorang hacker atau seorang perisik??

bagaimana akhir kisah MH370 will be very disturbing. i have to warn you!

sesuatu yg tak dpt diterima akal oleh org2 yg tahap IQ sederhana, tetapi bole diterima pada org2 yg berfikiran jauh dan tinggi dari org2 biasa...

"Bila ia tenggelam, tak ramai mati. Bila ia timbul, ramai yang mati...." - quote

rata2 baru aku sedar skrg bahawa ilmu pengetahuan aku amat cetek skali, setakat taraf ilmu pakcik2 kedai kopi ajer...

kalo korang nak baca jugak teori2 yg telah dikumpulkan dan ditulis sejak 9 Mac lalu sehingga skrg, sila klik link2 di bawah ini:-

AMARAN!!!
sila baca dgn fikiran yg terbuka kerana setiap point yg ditulis akan membawa anda ke satu tahap kadar pemikiran luar biasa yg belom anda terfikir sejauh ini!!

http://dramaraja.blogspot.com
http://militaryofmalaysia.net

ps: marilah kita sama2 berdoa supaya tidak terleka dgn fitnah2 dajjal (national media) yg sangat2 berleluasa utk menyesatkan kiter....

Tied Fates (Arkan)

Friday, March 14, 2014

Solat Mintak Hujan Turun



Assalamu'alaikum Friends,

This Friday, mosques nationwide will be holding the special istisqa' prayer (a prayer specifically meant to ask for rain) after our Friday prayers, inshaAllah. The purpose of the prayer is to come together as a community to ask Allah s.w.t. to bless us with rain and end this bout of dry weather.

Please kindly refer to the infographic that we have prepared to serve as a guideline in performing the istisqa' prayer. It is available both in English and Malay.


May Allah s.w.t. answer our prayers and shower upon us rain which will benefit us as a nation, and may it bring relief to the trees and animals, ameen.

Islamic Religious Council of Singapore (MUIS)

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Zam Zam Alakazam...!!!



)

Rizan: Tu bakul kecoh pe! memalukan melayu sak...

Sham: Bakul mengkuang lah siak!

Rizan: Yg belakang sua pegang kelapa...!!

Adzam: Buahahahahaha...aper kepepek siak

Rizan: Yg tgh dayung tu mcm wak!

Hisham: Hahahahaha!!!

Adzam: dayung pakai tongkat...??!@##$%

Hisham: Siak ah...ua ketawa takleh stop sak!

Adzam: Ada lagi sorang kat sebelah dah bukak kuda-kuda laa sak

Sham: Aku confuse...dia dayung kat darat ke kat laut ??!

Adzam: Merakit ke langit!

Sham: Berakit2 ke hulu, berenang2 ke tepian. Ni kat darat mcm mana nak ke tepian?? Take off pon tidak! LOL!!

Rizan: Jap lagi take off laa...


ZAM ZAM ALAKAZAM!!!


)

ps: aku rase dorang nie bnyk sangat tgk citer laksamana do re me....

Miyoko Tokai (Laksaman Do Re Me)


Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Kronik Case Of The Unseen Force!



setelah 4 hari pesawat MH370 hilang ghaib ntah kemana, kini ader pulak tok bomoh dtg nak bantu.

Missing MH370: Bomoh vows result with fish trap hook, bamboo binocular
www.freemalaysiatoday.com, March 10, 2014

SEPANG: The mystery surrounding the missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 has captured the attention of a well-known ‘bomoh’ (shaman), Ibrahim Mat Zin.

Ibrahim, who is known as Raja Bomoh Sedunia Nujum VIP, arrived at the KL International Airport (KLIA) today, claiming to be invited by one of the country’s top leaders, to help locate the missing plane using a spiritual method and prayer.

“We use fish trap hook and a bamboo binocular to look and ask for the victims to be found as soon as possible,” he told reporters here today.

Read more >> http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/nation/2014/03/10/missing-mh370-bomoh-vows-result-with-fish-trap-hook-bamboo-binocular/

)
Demonstrasi Tok Bomoh Di KLIA

makkaaiiii...dia nak locate pesawat hilang sebesar gitu pakai buluh bambu dgn bubu tangkap ikan ajerrr???

(aku terdiam sejenak....nothing is impossible)

saat makin terdesak nie. mcm2 makenisma canggih berteknologi tinggi kiter dah try. sumer tak bole harap langsung....

kalo betol lerr dia bole jumpa kapalterbang yg hilang tu pakai teropong bambu dgn bubu ikan jer, aku rase tak lama lagi dia akan lebih femes dari David Copperfield!!!

ok ok lah tok bomoh. i give u chance...YOU GO AND TEROPONG WHERE IS THE AEROPLANE NOW!!


Terkini!!! Raja Bomoh Malaysia Datuk Mahaguru Ibrahim Mat Zin Dakwa Pesawat MH370 'Tergantung' Antara Tiga Negara

"Saya nampak pesawat itu masih tergantung di ruang udara, di tengah -tengah ketiga-tiga lokasi terbabit."Saya tak dapat jelaskan secara terperinci soal keselamatan mereka tetapi percaya pesawat itu mungkin berada dalam dua keadaan sama ada diculik oleh pihak tertentu atau disembunyikan di alam ghaib", katanya semalam.

Read more >> http://terboik.blogspot.com/2014/03/terkini-raja-bomoh-malaysia-datuk.html#ixzz2vg3xWjzY


ps: Pakar2 sains dari US sedang bersungguh2 menantikan apakah kesudahan usaha tok bomoh itu


Lagu Orang Gila (Dr. Kronik)