Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Tips dapatkan grade A utk bahasa melayu. #BulanBahasa





Sejenak aku dilamun kerinduan, kembali aku pada sebuah ingatan.

Satu perjanjian yang tiada penghujungnya. Sezaman aku dalam keindahan.

Sinar ungu yang telah engkau tinggalkan. Aku mengejar imbasan wajahmu.

Terlena aku antara dua warna, embun jernih gugur tanpa disedari...

Di manakah kau sayang?

Aku di sini dalam kedinginan. Semoga mentari kan menjelma menyinari...

Dengarilah sayang...

Akan ku coretkan nota cinta. Agar kau mengerti rinduku ini yang tersisa.

Bicara manismu bermain difikiran. Antara kenyataan dan khayalan...

Abadilah cinta dalam kenangan, tak mungkin pupus untuk selamanya...

Sekian...



-------------------------------------------------------------------------


perghhh...tapi jgn salah paham!

di atas bukanlah coretan madah gurindam jiwa yg aku tulis. ianya adalah tukilan sebuah lirik lagu rock melayu.

cuba korang hayati ungkapan yg tertulis diatas. betapa indah bidalan, berkias maksud jelas inti nyer.

saper sangka yg tulis lirik itu hanyalah seorang mat rock dan bukan seorang cendekiawan bahasa??

ramai kawan2 aku dtg mintak tips bagaimana anak2 mereka bole mendapat grade A1 dlm bahasa melayu?

meh aku share sikit tips...

antara sebab mengapa ramai dikalangan pelajar melayu kini kurang menguasai bahasa ibunda, adalah kerana mereka kurang mendengar lagu2 rock kapak!

lagu2 rock kapak mempunyai keistimewaan tersendiri.

selain dari melodi lagu yg mendayu2, lirik2 lagu yg ditulis amat halus dan puitis.

nilai bahasa yg digunakan begitu tinggi dan mendalam ertinya.

madah dan puisi saling mengulit kata, menghayat makna. ini kurang terpatri dlm lagu2 pop melayu skrg.

tak dinafikan, jiwa brader2 rock melayu dulu memang romantis.

sebab tu brader2 rock dulu senang pikat awek2 cun walopon muka buruk pecah seribu!

orang kater, biar muka tak hensem, tapi ayat mesti hensem..cheyy!

tak susah utk dpt grade yg baik utk bahasa melayu ke, english ke, cina ke, tamil ke. yg penting anda harus ader minat membaca.

tapi dulu aku malas baca buku...

...jika anda malas nak baca buku melayu, dgr jer lagu2 rock melayu.

kompem pass with flying colours! ...and dats how i did it! :)


ps: cikgu aku dulu kata, aku pandai tulis sajak. actually, tu lirik lagu rock ler, cikgu!...eheheh


Rindu Yang Tersisa (Lipan Bara)

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

ISIS - The Egyptian Goddess



the recent beheading of an american hostage, Abdul Rahman Peter Kassig, has sparked an uproar across the globe urging countries to take strong action against the perpetrators.

Obama Condemns Islamic State’s Killing of Peter Kassig

GAZIANTEP, Turkey — Islamic State militants released a chilling videotape on Sunday showing they had beheaded a fifth Western hostage, an American aid worker the group had threatened to kill in retaliation for airstrikes carried out by the United States in Iraq and Syria.

President Obama on Sunday confirmed the death of the aid worker, Peter Kassig, a former Army Ranger who disappeared more than a year ago at a checkpoint in northeastern Syria while delivering medical supplies.

Read more >> http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/17/world/middleeast/peter-kassig-isis-video-execution.html?_r=0

some badass literally asked me, "...as a muslim, how do you feel when the world is against ISIS?"

what kind of a question is that?? and what has it to do with me as a muslim??

the Islamic Caliphate! ISLAMIC = MUSLIMS.

WHAT?? do you believe them?

Well, its Islamic i supposed. so what you have to say about ISIS?

I don't think ISIS is very islamic in any way. The name ISIS itself is un-islamic. So what else hv I got to say??

ISIS = un-islamic you say??

yeah. ISIS is the name of an egyptian goddess!

ISIS

Isis, Egyptian Aset or Eset ,   Isis with Horus [Credit: Courtesy of the Staatliche Museen zu Berlin - Preussischer Kulturbesitz]one of the most important goddesses of ancient Egypt. Her name is the Greek form of an ancient Egyptian word for “throne.”

Isis was initially an obscure goddess who lacked her own dedicated temples, but she grew in importance as the dynastic age progressed, until she became one of the most important deities of ancient Egypt. Her cult subsequently spread throughout the Roman Empire, and Isis was worshipped from England to Afghanistan. She is still revered by pagans today. 

Read more >> http://global.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/295449/Isis

how could a certain group of muslims, devoted themselves to Allah, but then associated their names with paganism??

doesn't that contradict to the islamic belief??

a true muslim will never do that.


errr...uh-huh!


The Monster (Eminem ft. Rihanna)

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Aku Jatuh Terlentang!




aku rasa ramai pernah nampak 'Wet Floor' sign mcm kat atas tu, tapi ramai yg tak amik peduli kan??

sama lah mcm aku nie.

smlm hujan lebat. so aku take shelter jalan shortcut lalu kat kedai kopi - pasal takut basah kuyup.

lantai kat kedai kopi tu dah ler licin berminyak. pastu basah pulak pasal tempias air hujan.

aku nampak ader signage kuning ' Wet Floor' dorang tarok kat atas lantai. but aku buat bodoh jer. Aku jln laju2...

nak di jadikan cerita, skali aku TERslipped dan TERfall jatuh terlentang kat situ..!!

ZUPPPP.....GEDEBUKKK!!!

aku rasa, waktu aku jatuh tu, sama gaya mcm gambar kat signage tu! hahaha...

keadaan di kedai kopi tu menjadi senyap sunyi seketika. setiap mata di situ memandang kearah aku yg sedang terlentang diatas lantai yg basah.

adehhh!! malu nyer aku rase.

rasa mcm nak cepat2 bangun dan terus lari menangis waktu tuu...

tapi aku control macho. aku tahan airmata yg hampir2 menitis kerana aku takmo membasahi lantai yg dah cukop basah tuu.

aku bangun dgn slow motion dan terus jalan. aku buat mcm2 takde ape2 yg terjadi.

tapi tuhan jer yg tahu betapa malu nyer diri ku ini jatuh terkangkang depan org ramai.

rasa mcm nak amik baldi selekop jer kat atas kepala nie...huhu.

hari nie badan aku terasa sakit2. demam urat agak nyer tu kerana impact smlm. bontot aku terasa bengkak dan lebam. tak comel sungguh.

next time kalo nampak signage kuning tu, aku harus lebih berhati2.

smlm adalah pengajaran yg amat berharga bagi diriku.

sekian terimakasih.


ps: adehhh..bontot ku masih sakit lagi nie. monday nak amik mc ler..


Slippery When Wet (Nyanda)


Friday, October 31, 2014

Political Stunt To Win Malay Votes?


Masjid Yusof Ishak (Woodlands)

smlm kat mesjid ader kutipan derma utk mesjid woodlands.

then sumer org tanyer, why should the masjid suddenly be named after Mr Yusof Ishak??

then dorang ckp pasal election nak dekat. org melayu ramai kat woodlands. nak beli hati org melayu, so election nanti PAP bole menang!

use your head. think critically. be wary of propaganda.


ps: Good luck for the next GE2016!


Propaganda (Sepultura)

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Video Luch~ UAI



tengah hangat tersebar luas video sex yg konon nyer dikatakan adalah seorang pendakwah femes - Ustaz Azhar Idrus.

Team CSI aku telah meneliti video yg dikirimkan oleh seorang hacker.

video 0:38 saat itu memaparkan dua subjects yg sedang berasmara dana di dalam sebuah bilik hotel.

salah seorang subject itu menyerupai seorang ustaz yg begitu femes dgn seorang lagi subject wanita yg blom disah kan identiti nyer.

however, ader yg mendakwa bahawa wanita itu adalah isteri ke-3 beliau.

(baca sini & sini)


walo bagaimanapun, ketika kami meneliti video tersebut berkali2 (sampai juling mata aku), kami sepakat menyatakan bahawa video itu telah dirakam mungkin dari webcam DAN dicuri rakam semula menerusi hp.

seorang anggota CSI kami, abg bob, yg memang pakar dlm kes2 lucah, berkata bende nie senang nak siasat.

abg bob, yg pernah menjadi pegawai polis bahagian cawangan jenayah tersusun, juga adalah seorang pakar computer dan photoshop.

bnyk bende dia dah photoshop. ketika beliau belajar di australia, beliau telah menggunakan lesen mamndu palsu yg di buat menggunakan photoshop! polis australia pon tak tahu yg tu lesen palsu!

hebat betol abg bob nie!

menurut kajian abg bob, ader beberapa kemungkinan bole berlaku dlm kes sebegini...

1. Pelanduk 2 serupa

tak mustahil itu adalah pelanduk 2 serupa yg mempunyai mirip2 rupa yg sama.

"...dlm dunia ader 7 org yg serupa dgn kiter..cuma tampal janggut jer dah nampak sama. Haha."

2. Buat video menggunakan kaedah CGI

abg bob ckp, dorang bole buat pakai CGI mcm hollywood movie. tapi memerlukan skill yg tinggi dan belanja yg mahal. so, kiter tanyer abg bob adakah video itu menggunakan CGI??

"Tidak."

3. Kena hacked

jika video itu tulin dan telah dirakamkan menerusi smart phone atau webcam. ader kemungkinan besar ianya telah di curik dari Cloud!

baru2 ini juga, iCloud telah di hacked.

ramai artis2 femes seperti Kim Kardashian,  telah menjadi mangsa, di mana gambar2 bogel beliau telah tersebar meluas di internet. (aku pon ader TERsimpan gambar tu buat kenangan...hehe.)

jika smartphone tu connected to cloud system, video lucah UAI itu akan di backup dlm cloud. dan BESAR KEMUNGKINAN cloud telah digodam dan disebarkan tanpa disedari. so that could be another possibility.

4. Video itu di rakam semula pakai handphone

last sekali, mungkin video sex itu telah dijumpai oleh seseorang dlm laptop. pastu dia amik handphone dan record ketika playback.

ini kerana quality dan contrast video itu mcm video dari handphone. siap bole zoom lagi. audio pon tak jelas sangat.

nampak sah curik2 record balik. pastu dia disseminate kat social media.

kiter pon tanyer abg bob, mcm mana nak siasat kes nie sama ader betol atau tidak, since ustaz femes tu die-die menafikan perkara tersebut.

"senang jer. tak yah carik ustaz tu. dia tak bole lari kemana pon. yg penting kiter carik siapa identity pompan dlm video itu. itu lebih penting."

"biler dah dpt tahu siapakah beliau, dari situ kiter bole narrow down."

"biler kedua2 suspect nie kiter dah tangkap dan siasat, baru kiter tahu siapakah yg benar2 terbabit. sama ader itu UAI ataupon bukan. dan aper kah motif mereka. abes citer."

"aku lebih interested nak carik siapakah org ketiga yg merakam video itu kembali dan tersebar luas. dia adalah prime suspect. dia lah yg paling bersalah."

"dlm hal nie, UAI tak salah. tu hal rumahtangga dia. dia nak joget bogel dgn bini dia pon ape aku kisah."

"yg salah adalah org yg merakam semula dan sebarkan di internet. dia yg kiter kena carik." jelas abg bob sambil mengorek lobang hidung dia kerana bnyk sangat tahi hidung.

dorang kater ini semua permainan politik. betul ke??


"kehkehkeh! nak distract attention, mereka bole menafikan mcm2 lah. tu hak dorang. hanya tuhan jer yg tahu." kata abg bob lagi sambil tersenyum2 kambing.

WOW!!! abg bob mmg best in the west! tak sia2 dia jadi pegawai polis time dolu2...

"aku pon suka buat video mcm gini. dah selalu sangat buat sampai dah jadi expert." sambung abg bob lagi yg kebetulan ader scandal dgn pompan HK, tapi bini dia tak tahu....hurhur

abg bob juga ade bnyk koleksi video2 lucah peribadi yg dijadikan sebagai hobby selain dari hobby mengumpul stamp.

last question aku tanyer abg bob. sebagai seorang pakar yg handal, beliau telah mengkaji dan buat forensic keatas video itu sejak beberpa hari yg lalu.

agak2 beliau, adakah itu benar2 video peribadi UAI?

abg bob tersenyum memanjanggggg...lalu berkata, "tepok dada, tanyer selera...hurhur".

abg bob nie suka sgt bergurau ler! *cubit2 perot abg bob*



so buat masa nie, kiter tak bole tuduh2. nanti jadi fitnah. :P

menurut hacker yg memberi kami video itu, buat masa ini cuma ader satu video jer. tiada kesinambungan.

hacker masih berusaha keras utk mencarik bukti2 lain.

"berkemungkinan video tu lebih dari 0:38sec, mungkin panjang sampai 2-3 jam. dah mcm tgk filem hindustan plak. LOL!!" kata abg bob sebelom mengakhiri sesi perbualan kami.

Other related story: http://darisungaiderhaka.blogspot.sg/2014/10/ustaz-azhar-idrus-bukan-pelakon-video.html

Dikir Ore Baru Menikoh

Thursday, October 23, 2014

'Ale uto' IS NOT 'I love u too'!



saper sini suka ckp 'ale uto, ale uto' ar?

'ale uto' bukan bermaksud 'i love u too' dlm bahasa spanyol okey...

'ale uto' adalah slang di internet yg bermaksud 'kepale buto'!




so, kpd mak2 dan bapak2 atau couple2 yg sedang hangat bercinta tu, perkataan 'ale uto' tu adalah perkataan lucah yg tak elok di ucapkan.

sblom anda di 'ale uto' kan, lebih baik anda fahami erti perkataan tersebut.



...
...
...
ale uto. (i love you too)

Ale Uto (Arai Junior)

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Toasties - Halal ke Tak Halal??


(Image from The Halal Food Blog)

KECOH DOK!!!

tu hari aku TERbaca kat twitter ader org ckp, tampines skrg dah ader food outlet baru, ala2 mcm 'subway', - tapi ditanggung halal !! :)

(Image from twitter.com/fizwu)

WOW!! best ler mcm gitu! tak payah lah kiter susah payah pegi johor just to makan sandwich subway lagi... :) :) :)

but then, baru2 nie kcoh kat social media sites, yg ckp Toasties tu sebenar nyer takde pensijilan halal pon!

skrg dorang suah investigate yg owner Toasties tu sebenar nyer is a non-muslim. so mana bole ikut suka hati makbapak dia ckp makanan yg dijual tu halal tanpa pengesahan dari MUIS??!!


so, ader ler sorang hamba allah nie suah paotoh sama MUIS suruh check sama ader betol ke tidak yg Toasties tu takde halal cert...


biler MUIS dah gie check, so DOUBLE CONFIRMED ler yg outlet Toasties TAKDE SIJIL HALAL. 

kenyataan yg dikelaurkan oleh MUIS ternyata Toasties tak mempunyai sijil halal langsung dan tiada sebarang permohonon utk dptkan sijil halal telah dilakukan. WTF!!


ewah ewah....ini dah jadi satu kes pembohongan! bohong

nak buat bisnes pon agak2 ler sikit. bende2 sensitif mcm nie mana bole tipu2 kan...

kalo takde cert halal, ckp jer takde. senang abis cerita!

walopon kedai tu ader pekerja2 melayu / islam, tak semesti nyer ianya sebuah eating establishment yg halal. lelebih lagi bila ianya bukan dimiliki oleh org islam.

so saper nak mengesahkan bahan2 yg digunakan dlm makanan itu dari2 sumber2 yg halal ke tidak??

(Image from facebook.com/thehalalfoodblog)

nak pendek kan cerita,  ramai ler consumer2 rasa marah biler dpt tahu mereka telah TIPAH TERTIPU TIPU TERTIPAH oleh twitterer yg tak bertanggung jawab menyebarkan maklumat palsu.

benda halal haram nie agak sensitif dlm masyarakat kiter. esp kalo kedai tu tidak dimiliki org islam.

well, bagi aku, terpulang ler pada hak masing2. kalo rasa mcm was-was, tak yah ler beli. buat jer sandwich kat umah :P

kpd yg dah TERbeli dan TERmakan tu, semoga dosa2 anda dpt diampunkan, kerana tak sengaja TERorder, TERmakan dan TERbedal roti sandwich kat Toasties tuu...huhu

TOASTIES TAK ADA SIJIL HALAL. LAIN KALI, JGN NAK PANDAI2....


Mi Mi Mi (Serebro)

Monday, October 6, 2014

#awakkatmana




KRINGGGGG...!!! *handphone tetiba berbunyik*

boy: hello...

girl: awak kat mane?

boy: otw to tampines square..

girl: sampai hati awak tak call

boy: alamak, sy terlupa lah bae...

girl: wassapp pon tidak...

boy : bttery sy nak dekat flat lah bae..

girl: skrg awak kat mana??

boy: sy dlm mrt nie

girl: bohong!

boy : betol lah bae. takde makna sy nak bohong kat awk :)

girl: lebih baik awak  ckp terus terang. AWAK AWAK KAT MANA?!!!

boy : sy kat....errr...sy skrg kat luar jumpa kawan.

girl : CKP AWAK KAT MANA??!!!

boy: sy kat 7-11 lah...kluar dgn my fren. nama dia 'halim'...

girl : halim??! knp your 'halim' fren pakai lipstick?? knp 'halim' pakai baju sexy?? knp jln kena pimpin tgn 'halim'?? I NAMPAK TAU!!! SAPER NAMA GIRL TU??!

boy: *kantoi* errrkk...bae, awak kat mana???!

ps: cerita ini tidak ader kena mengena dgn lagu taufik batisah #awakkatmane



Awak Kat Mana (Taufik Batisah)


Sunday, October 5, 2014

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha 1435H



kami disini mengucapkan selamat menyambut hari raya korban kepada seluruh umat islam.

kepada jemaah yg sedang menjalani ibadah haji tahun ini, semoga berada di dlm keadaan sihat dan selamat. mudah-mudahan mendpt haji yg mabrur, insya allah.

amin.

Sabda Rasullullah SAW bersabda yg bermaksud: "Perbesarkanlah Korban Kamu Kerana Ia Akan Menjadi Tunggangan KAmu Ketika KAmu Melalui Siratul Mustaqim di Akhirat Kelak"


Salam Aidil Adha 1435H.

Haji (Sweet Charity)

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Wahlau! I predicted this 6-years ago!



"LTA issues tender for satellite-based ERP system; distance-based pricing a possibility" - CNA

i am no psychic with supernatural ability.

all i did was to observe the trend and think critically. the system should be practical and at the same time, able to generate more revenue. that's all.

2008: What i wrote...

"Since the numbers of ERPs increasing, the annual Road Tax payment has been reducing.

There will be a time when most ERPs are up, Road Tax will be abolished. The driving system in Spore will be like 'pay-as-you-drive'. The more you drive, the more you pay and the less you drive, the less you pay.

This system will be equivalent like the Off-peak car (OPC) usage, where you pay $20 during peak hours. When normal-plate car owners begin to embrace to the new system, there will be no difference like the usage of OPC. So, finally, there will be no more OPCs on the road.

Stoopid sporean: But why are Off-peak cars still selling? Infact, the numbers of Off-peak cars are surging.

It's a trap, silly! - When ERP system starts full swing, road-tax will be abolished and so will be OPCs. Off-peak car owners will be forced either to convert to normal plate cars or dispose their cars accordingly. For those who still has outstanding finance payment....too bad. You need to refinance your car for the conversion or pay through your nose. (This is another way the government is trying to help banks and other financial institutions make money!)

So, I would advise to think twice before buying an OPC now. You wouldn't know what is going to happen in the next 5-10 years from now. It is ridiculously cheap, but it's going to be a painful trap anytime soon." - Belachan Tumbuk

Read more >> http://belachantumbuk.blogspot.sg/2008/07/erpevery-road-pay.html


2014: Media released

LTA issues tender for satellite-based ERP system; distance-based pricing a possibility

PAY-PER-USE FOR OFF-PEAK CAR USERS?

"The authorities are also considering new policies with the satnav system, such as allowing Off-Peak Car (OPC) users to pay only for short periods of usage - rather than the whole day, or permitting the use of OPCs on uncongested roads.

Authorities have also reassured motorists that their privacy will be safeguarded, as any data collected will be made anonymous. Assoc Prof Menon also said privacy should not be an issue. "Whenever you use an electronic equipment, you leave a footprint. Even when you use a handphone, you use an ATM machine. I think this is no worse than any of the other systems."

Observers expect the second generation road pricing system to encourage motorists to be more sensible in their usage of vehicles. This could have an impact on Certificate of Entitlement prices.

COULD ERP 2 LOWER COE PREMIUMS?

"Car usage is the main reason that contributes to traffic congestion. However, car ownership itself is not really having the direct relationship with the traffic congestion," explained Dr Lee Der Horng, professor at the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering at the National University of Singapore.

“Then, once we have the ERP 2 system, Singapore will be in a perfect position to impose a usage-based charging system, and from there, can control vehicle usage. Personally, I do not rule out the possibility that with the ERP 2 system, the Government may be more lenient in terms of car ownership, because by then, we already have a perfect tool to manage actual car usage in Singapore."

To make the GNSS-based system possible, LTA has shortlisted three consortia to participate in the upcoming tender: NCS and MHI Engine System Asia, ST Electronics (Info-Comm Systems) and Watchdata Technologies and Beijing Watchdata System.

The contract to design and develop the system is expected to be awarded in the second half of 2015, and LTA aims to implement the system from around 2020." - CNA

Read more >> http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/lta-issues-tender-for/1391798.html?cid=FBSG

BINGO!!!

ps: well, i think i deserve to be your next transport minister! :D


Anaconda (Nicki Minaj)